We runners can sometimes be a serious bunch. And I admit, I’m a bit impatient about impatience.
My marathon times, not a one of them spectacular but all of them mine, are wedged firmly in the over-four-hour category. Four hours… and closer to five, if I’m being honest. The training. The practice. The many, many solo runs. You spend a lot of time with just yourself for company (and you wonder when I have time to think up a bunch of comic gags, huh?) You spend a lot of time plodding along with nothing to do but think.
And I used to be just like The Girl. Five minutes with nothing to do and I be like “moooooooooooooooooooom, I’m sooooooo bored.”
I look down at that kid who seems to have the patience-span of a single breath and wonder how one gets from that kid who has not the patience to even listen to her old man recap his long run — to the old man who adores, treasures, and makes precious use of that time of solitary plodding adventure. It’s a big leap.
Okay, so maybe it’s only funny if you’ve been there… but if you have, it’s your darkly humorous reality too.
Credit where due, Jolene (who I run with in real life) posted a little story on my Facebook page the evening that I drew this. They had come home from a hot & sweaty mid-summer evening run and added their own special post-running fragrance to the kitchen… much to the chagrin of their son.
I can just imagine what we smelled like after our Wednesday evening run, which seemed even hotter, even muggier, and a little less relieved by any sort of wind. Eau-du-runner. No wonder everyone gets out of our way!
I was saving this bonus strip for next week, maybe after my sure-to-be-too-warm half marathon on Sunday, but… just too perfect timing to not post it now, for an upcoming weekend forecast to be a scorching hot couple of days. Stay cool!
It seems to be the responsibility of the modern amature athlete: run… then share as much information as you can about that run in the form of GPS tracks and selfies. Prove that you were outside in sweat-wicking, lightweight, synthetic clothing.
A run without a selfie or a group photo or a short video to recap… unimaginable…. he wrote with a tone of hypocritical irony. I mean, would Instagram even exist if it wasn’t for selfies of people doing things like eating, running, or both simultaneously? I doubt it.
In nothing else, it reminds those who haven’t yet fallen victim to runner-selfie habit that there is still time to escape.